An NBC article looks at the subject of ogling. It is usually men who are busted for ogling but both sexes ogle. NBC talked to Dr. David Barash, author of The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People. Barash told NBC that it is wrong to think your marriage is doomed because your partner is attracted to someone else on occasion.
"People buy into this myth of the perfect mate and how once they find them, they won't have any interest in anyone else, and that's just wrong," says Barash. "If they're a normal healthy human mammal, they're likely to be attracted to someone else on occasion. It doesn't mean that their marriage or partnership is doomed. Nor does it mean they have to act on it."
Barash says being upfront with both yourself and your partner about the fact that "attraction happens" is the best way to deal with it - although that doesn't mean completely giving in to your inner wolf.
So "ogling happens" but while some ogling is natural too much ogling is probably not a good thing. The study found that males most likely to be more sexually promiscuous tend to do more ogling.
Another possibly new development? Shameless horndoggery.
"We've found pretty consistently that the extent to which people find their attention captured by attractive members of the opposite sex really depends upon personality characteristics," says Maner. "And people who are more sexually promiscuous are much more likely to have their attention captured by attractive members of the opposite sex."
The article also says that some couples are compiling "to-do lists" or celebrity top ten lists of people they are attracted to. Hopefully these "to-do lists" are celebrities because a "to-do list" of neighbors would probably not go over very well.
The Seattle Times recently talked to speed dating expert Aviva Fannie. She has held many speed dating events in Seattle and so she knows the common trends and the mistakes people make. One of the mistakes she sees often is guys not looking at the girl - they look at her drink instead. She also said there is always one attractive girl at speed dating events and all the guys will pick her but an attractive guy won't be chosen by all the girls.
How the sexes differ: "There is always one really attractive woman, and all of the guys will choose her." But for a really attractive guy, "Maybe 50 or 70 percent of the women will choose him. Women also look at his personality and interpersonal skills. Women are more selective than guys. That's just the nature."
The knowledge that women won't all choose the most handsome male attender might encourage more guys to try speed dating. Aviva also has some good advice for speed daters: "People like to hear their name, so mention their name in the conversation. A good sense of humor helps. It puts people at ease.... Show you have a brain. And guys, grooming helps."
Lately, the Facebook social network has been under fire for violating users' privacy with its Beacon service. This is probably just a blip in what has become an important social tool for today's teenagers and college students. Facebook offers a number of relationship options including "complicated." This Reuters video says that for the Facebook generation, linking profiles as a couple makes a relationship official. If you do link your partner as someone you are having a relationship with on Facebook be sure they are also going to link you back or it could be really embarrassing.
